first one in a while

I've been resting (on my laurels) for the better part of a month now. but yesterday i finally felt like going out - not least because i know that dom and milena and susan have been quite conscientious in lacing up for the last few weeks.

i was talking about the notion of competition with k this morning, and i have this theory. nobody likes losing. of course i can't really say that much for certain, but it seems like a reasonable assumption. given the choice between winning and losing (if that's a choice one can make), i imagine that most folks would choose to win.

but for me, the mark of a competitive person lies in how much it matters when he/she loses.

if it's a soul-crushing, unbearable circumstance to be avoided at all costs, then i say you are extremely competitive. and i think we all have that in ourselves to a greater or lesser degree. and of course, it all depends on the battle we're in. i'm much more likely to be competitive if it's a jobhunt than i am if i'm doing a pub quiz. some things i can lose gracefully, and others cause me anguish.

i've met people who hate to lose a friendly game of darts, or croquet, or tiddlywinks. my brothers and i used to compete for our parents' affection (usually measured in grades, or time spent working in the family businesses).

the marathon was a really interesting experience in competitiveness for me. i found myself trying to beat...myself (since there was no way i could ever really be in the 'running' to win, as it were). but i was still trying to finish ahead of the people immediately around me, especially in the last few miles.

i guess i'm circling this to try and talk about how it feels to run with friends and the subtle dynamics and habitual behaviours that come out when there's more than one person ina pack. i might say that all of my friends do really consistent things when we go out. dom runs ahead. milena and susan pace together, with k usually somewhere between them and dom. i know i set off pacing with milena and susan and k, and then sooner or later i find myself out front with dom.

but then i feel bad because i know that i'm just out front with dom because i want to be at the front of the pack. and dom and i push one another sometimes - which in terms of fitness is probably a good thing. i like having a pace partner that makes me go a bit faster than i might do if i were on my own. but i worry that i might also be trying to 'prove something', that i might be competitive in the distasteful sense.

dunno where this is going, but it was a lovely run this morning, and it feels good to run again...

5:19:58

Well, the race is over, and I had a blast!

I made it the distance - but my time was a bit longer than i had hoped for. Of course, I hadn't done the training required to get my 'ideal' time (somewhere in the 4:30 range), so i'm not sure what I was expecting. Now that I understand how training works, I won't be making that mistake next time. It's hard to express the psychological breakthough that Paris represented for me. In a nutshell, it means that the distance is a possible one for me (none of our training runs went over 18 miles) - and the spectre of those last eight miles hung over me in the weeks before the race. Now, I can do pretty much anything (very very slowly, at least!)

The mind plays tricks, I've found. I was doing all kinds of dumb things before the race (buying a silly arm-wallet so I could carry my phone, changing the way I laced my shoes unnecessarily, deciding that I didn't need my knee brace at the 14th mile, and realizing that I DID need it on the 16th mile). I didn't even start listening to my music until the halfway point. I'm chalking most of these errors up to the sheer overwhelming-ness of the occasion.

All in all, though, it was a good run, in spite of the technical errors.

I should thank everyone who donated to Get Kids Going - you all donated almost three hundred pounds to a worthy cause, and I know that they very much appreciate your support - almost as much as I do.

I think I'm hooked. anyone fancy doing the Toronto Marathon? October 18th, 2009! Let's go!

(edit - it's been two weeks since the finish, and I think I'm ready to start again...I'm looking at you: kaley, milena, dominic, gareth, catherine, susan, and natalie!)

a New Sensation

last night was another milestone. actually, it was eighteen milestones.

by far, the longest run yet.

on our previous outing (not the one in the last post, but just last week - remember, the snow really messed everything up, schedule-wise), scheduled for a 14 mile jaunt, i bailed out somewhere between 9 and 10 miles. remember those new shoes i got? i don't think they were entirely broken in yet. in a word, ouch.

so, to date, my longest run was around 12/13 miles.

I have two training partners - Meg and Rachel. Meg is fast. She's run four marathons, and doesn't understand the word quit. i aspire to that (and i'm getting there!). Rachel has run a half-marathon, but we're pretty close in terms of pace. an ideal running partner.

because Meg is significantly faster than Rachel and i, and carries a fancy little device that tells us how far we've gone, we arranged for her to leave a white ribbon at the 9-mile point, so we would know when to turn around without her needing to stand there until we caught up with her. as it turned out, we weren't too far behind her (by my standard, anyway) on the 'out' part of our out-and-back route. a very nice feeling.

and this run was characterized by nice feelings - i had my breath for the whole time, my legs were strong, my form was beginning to come together (i only caught myself slipping into my lazy stride a couple of times) - all in all, things were ticking over in a pretty efficient fashion.

AND, we ran 18 miles! 18! that's nuts!

the pain comes in the last three miles, i've discovered. we've been running the same route on our long runs, out and back on a country road that connects Leeds to the much smaller settlement of Otley. Otley is 11 miles away, and when we get there and run back, our training is pretty much finished. last night we were within 2 miles. i can't overstate how psychologically important that is to me - i can run to Otley! (which means i can run BACK - which means i can run a marathon!).

the pain of the last three miles is a mental thing. i think i get a bit bored, for starters (in spite of my sweet little ipod). then, i get a bit tired. and then, when certain landmarks appear, i start thinking of home, an ice pack, a glass of water, some food, my bed, a hot bath, a hug and some praise from Kaley, and so on.

(you'll note that i am most definitely NOT thinking about running anymore)

but that's a familiar sensation. the New Sensation?

nipple chafing.

there's no pain like it.

(tomorrow, an easy 10 miles - if yer reading this, Meg, can we try a different route? and next week, a long run of 20 miles, with my chest wrapped in duct tape, if need be)

the gas face

Meg (the Artist Formerly known as Amanda) and I contracted to meet up this morning at 7am to go out for our long run of the week (14 miles). I dutifully set my alarm for 7.30.

I think you can see where this is going.

We are, in Britain, apparently getting a wave of cold Continental air washing over this miserable island that I call home. I hate the Continent.

(remember - you can't spell 'incontinent' without the word Continent. may they all soil themselves for this frozen gift to us)

By now, you ought to have a very clear idea of how this run went.

Within ten minutes of Meg's arrival, we had already talked ourselves out of the 14 miles, in favour of doing a six mile run. After much procrastination, we settled on a four mile route.

At this point, I almost gave up on going out altogether. (thanks Meg, for dragging me out).

I don't understand why a four mile run should give me so much trouble, but they do. This is the second time I've gassed (as in 'run out of') on a short run. Part of it is that I only warm up after about three miles, and on a shortie like today, the run's practically over. I can live with that feeble rationalization.

On the positive side, I've been working on my form - which means I'm not necessarily running faster (I need to concentrate to break all my bad habits like slouching a bit, and not driving my arms - not to mention all my bad mental habits/blocks) - but I am running better. My shoulders, neck, and especially my lower back were relaxed and felt nice and comfortable.

Worryingly, however, my right Achilles tendon is a bit inflamed. I know, I know, stretch/rest/ice/elevate...I'm doing all that (really I am). Hopefully this is just a case of breaking myself in, and not breaking myself up.

ALSO...my new shoes are coming today! In all their orange glory!

Can't wait to break these puppies in!

Surely, with these I will no longer suffer from the Gas Face, and smoothly stride past all the trouser-wetting in(Continent)als on April 5th...or I'll snap a tendon. Could go either way.

Sunday looms.

a twelve mile shuffle

After a long weekend of doing nothing (literally), I hauled myself out for the long run we were meant to do on Saturday this monday night. It was a very good run for me, mainly because of my new piece of gear.

I think the People At Apple knew what they were doing when they named this product.

I got a new (well, refurbished one) from the People At Apple, because it seemed perfect for me. It holds a thousand songs, but it won't let me waste time actually choosing one. Just a mindless flow of music, forever and ever.

I tried it out last night and I loved it. Especially when we hit 6miles on our out-and-back, and Gord Downie from Big Sugar kicked in with the opening lyrics of 'Ride Like Hell'.

(Sometimes i wonder, if i'll ever get back home.)

you tell 'em Gord.

We kept a 9.10 pace for the first 6, which is pretty fast for me. Slower on the way back in, but hey - i'm only training right now, right? Am i right?

But it wasn't till I was a mile from home that it struck me why they called this little mp3 player 'the shuffle'. Cuz that's the only word for the stride i was keeping. A weak, sweet-lord-i-am-beat kind of beat.

this friday, 14 miles. when will it end? why must every run be the longest run EVER? I'm looking forward to the tapering off period. '12 miles? easy.' i'll say. but not for many weeks to come.

so much for the routine

i did NOTHING today. i even ate a meal in a restaurant. so much for being in training.

tomorrow morning, i do my 7 miles (edit to previous post - it's 2 easy, 1 hard, 2 medium, 2 easy...if anyone is paying attention, that is).

a bit late in coming...

This whole thing is a bit late in coming, really. it's long been past due that i kicked my butt into shape. i suppose when aman died last year, a few things came into focus for me - which is why i've decided to run a marathon this year. (note: this is the last time that I'll mention my brother here - but it is one of my main motivators in this journey)



So: I basically got off the couch two weeks ago (January 10th), and ran 9 miles all at once. and i'm here to tell you, it was AWFUL. i was overdressed, tense, and made a bunch of small changes to my usual routine that all added up to a very cranky runner. at the final mile, I told my running partner Amanda, 'I can't actually run any slower than I am right now.' but i DID finish it, and in the process made a huge leap in confidence. we did a couple of short runs later in the week, but that 9mile run was the real point at which i really started.

five days later (January 15th), I sailed through an 11 mile run that actually went over 12.5 (we got a bit lost).

now, we're (purportedly) on a routine, but getting Amanda and Rachel (my other training partner) together at the same time on a given day is proving troublesome. on top of scheduling conflicts, add injuries, transportation woes, and fluctuations in motivation, and a beautifully planned week can be undone in an instant.

case in point: this week, we went out for a six mile run (tempo/threshold pace) and Amanda and I were having such a bad time, we turned around in three. we averaged 9:18/mile overall, but it was far short of the mileage I wanted. so I went out with Kaley and a friend the next morning and i figure we did about 4 miles. so, on top of that 7, we'll be doing another seven tomorrow morning (2 easy, 1 hard, 2 medium, 1 easy), and on friday or saturday we'll knock out a 12-13 mile run (which I am going to run at a fairly easy pace - I'm feeling a bit run down this week. I need to eat more food and drink water far more than i thought.)

so - a 27+ mile week, not including a session or two of tennis/circuit training (more on how much I hate circuit training to follow in upcoming weeks). but the point is not to be counting miles - it's to have fun.

but, then again it can't be wrong to have fun counting...can it? or am I being a bit OCD about this? at this early stage, i'm really enjoying watching my mileage increase from week to week - so, I suppose i'll just keep the tally going.

i'll most likely end up posting to this blog twice a week: the day after the Long Run, and the day after the speedwork/7mile split thing. those are the major points in the week, and i'll fill in the blanks then...

okay? all up to date, then?

let's go.